The High Cost of Resentment and Anger in Marriage
August 31, 2007
Many spouses carry heavy suitcases filled with a collection of anger and resentment from their marriage. Periodically, they unpack these suitcases and review every situation in which they feel they were treated unfairly.
“Resentment is an extremely bitter diet, and eventually poisonous. I have no desire to make my own toxins,” declares Neil Kinnock. Hanging on to anger and resentment is toxic, and the resulting sludge can slowly poison you.
It’s easy to lose your perspective about the bigger picture and to be become obsessed with how things “should” have been and how others “should” have treated you. In your mind, you may visualize yourself zapping the other person with the perfect verbal comeback or having the opportunity to get even in some way. The more you let your mind gallop in this direction, the angrier you get and the more you feel self-righteous and justified in your reaction.
When you become mired in anger, resentment, blame, and revenge, you are only hurting yourself. In the process, you put yourself at risk for experiencing health problems, sleeping difficulties, depression, relationship rifts, and daily agitation. You automatically increase your stress level and decrease your enjoyment of life. And the longer you carry a grudge, the heavier it gets.
Online Dating: How I Met My Mate
August 30, 2007
Do you think online dating is only for the young and the foolish? Not true! Lots of men and and women of all ages are finding the love of their life through online dating. I did it and so can you. Oh, No, Single Again! When I separated from husband number three, I was 47 years old and plenty scared that I would never find a good man to love. I read all those stories about how a woman over 40 has a better chance of being hit by lightning than getting married again. It’s all nonsense. Your life is determined by the state of your consciousness. When you end an unhappy chapter of your life, it means you’ve got some soul-searching and spiritual work to do. If you are willing to do the work required to heal your emotional hurts and resentments, you can write a new chapter with a very different ending. I went through a real "Dark Night of the Soul" following my third divorce, but I had such a big, stubborn ego that the only way I was going to learn the lessons I needed to learn was to be completely humbled.
What Makes 4H So Great
August 29, 2007
What Makes 4H So Great
by: Rob Usakowski
This weekend we participated in our second state 4H rabbit show. It brought back a lot of memories, and really brought back into focus why we decided to start raising rabbits.
When we lived in the city, our family was very involved with little league football. The girls all cheered and mom was a coach on one of the teams. During the summer I would coach AYSO soccer and one daughter and my nephew would play. Needless to say we were very involved in our community and very busy.
When we moved out of the city and into a rural location we started to look for activities for our children to participate in. We made some calls to our local extension office and got some information about 4H. Project areas were not really a concern at that point. We went to our first 4H meeting a few weeks later.
Everybody was very friendly. At the meeting were children from ages 4-19 and many parents. Although an adult advisor oversaw the meeting, the meeting itself was run by the teen officers of the club. My girls thought about all the opportunities they would have and one of them asked us if she could get a couple of rabbits.
Enhancing Communication in Marriage
August 28, 2007
In marriages, many arguments and hurt feelings can be traced back to communication problems. It’s not unusual for spouses to stay in a continual state of frustration, feeling misunderstood and unappreciated.
Unexpressed feelings can pile up and poison the relationship. When you repress your anger, it will always come out later, usually after something minor has upset you.
You may find that it’s difficult to have a complete conversation without you or your spouse leaving the room before the conflict is resolved. The emotional buttons that your spouse pushes in you can make you want to bolt and get away from your uncomfortable feelings and reactions.
Learning to communicate more effectively with your spouse requires that you be fully present and attentive. You have to be committed to really listening and hearing, not only with your ears but also with your heart. You want to eliminate any communication blocks that prevent you and your partner from growing in understanding and intimacy.
Communication blocks are anything that you do, verbally or non-verbally, to keep you from connecting deeply with another person. Some examples of communication blocks in marriage are:
* Rolling your eyes and looking resigned or exasperated when your spouse is talking;
Tax Returns for the Deceased
August 28, 2007
Tax Returns for the Deceased
by: Richard A. Chapo
Two things in life are certain - death and taxes. Here’s what to do if the two are combined as far as filing a tax return.
Tax Returns for the Deceased
If a person dies, their finances are immediately converted into something called an estate. The estate is then responsible for filing a tax return covering the finances including income and distributions to heirs and beneficiaries. However, a final personal tax return must still be filed for the deceased.
The final personal tax return for the deceased is known as Form 1040. Yep, you file the same tax form as you would for any personal tax return. It is hard to believe the IRS passed up an opportunity to create another form, but there you go. Miracles do happen.
When determining the income and taxes due for a person who passes away, the date of death is the cutoff. All income earned before that date for the year goes on the personal tax return. All income earned after death is the responsibility of the estate and will be reported on the estate tax return.
Getting The Most From A Romantic Relationship
August 27, 2007
Romantic relationships happen because of the hopes and dreams a couple has for a happy life together. Being concerned with what is good about the relationship is what makes the relationship good. Being too concerned with the problems that a relationship has will take away from the enjoyment that the relationship can provide.
This article suggests ways for staying aware of what makes your romantic relationship worthwhile.
Don’t Expect Too Much –
Don’t expect a perfect relationship. That happens only in fairy tales. If you expect everything to be wonderful, it makes your relationship less valuable by comparison. Problems will occur. You will get hurt. Don’t be so concerned with the problems that you loose awareness of what is good in the relationship.
Romance and love will more likely happen if you allow them to happen instead of making them a goal. If you make love the goal, you will compare how the relationship is now to what you think it should be. You will be continually disappointed. Making the relationship better should be the goal. Pay attention to treating each other fairly and helping each other. If love happens, it will be based on believing that both of you can continue to build a good relationship.
A Rundown On The Birth Control Methods
August 26, 2007
A Rundown On The Birth Control Methods
by: Robert Thatcher
With the population boom in recent years, many countries have pushed for the use of birth control to help curb the increase in population. There are many types of birth control methods that families can use, depending on what the couple are most comfortable with.
Hormonal Methods
One of the methods of controlling birth that is available in the market is the hormonal method, which targets hormones and their effects on the body’s fertility. Some of the most common hormonal methods are the use of birth control pills and birth control shots, skin patches and the vaginal ring. This method actually works quite as it prevents the production of eggs. As a big bonus, these methods can also help relieve pain and cramps during monthly periods and can relieve heavy flows.
How to Nurture Intimacy When Youre in a Long-Distance Marriage
August 25, 2007
The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face is how to keep emotional intimacy alive when they are separated. If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably already using email and the telephone as much as possible to stay in touch. But what else can you do to stay connected with your partner and not lose that special bond between you?
One suggestion is to take the extra time to also send “snail mail” greeting cards, letters, and postcards when possible. Buy an assortment of cards when you have a chance, and that will make it easier to send out one or two cards each week. Vary the type of cards that you send–some romantic, some funny. You could also send postcards to add variety and show scenes of the geographic area where you are working.
In your letters and emails, don’t only talk about what activities you’ve been involved in, but be sure to share your feelings about what’s going on in your life. Ask feeling-related questions, such as “Do you ever worry that one day we’ll have been married 20 years and we’ll discover that we don’t really know each other?” Also share memories and experiences from childhood and the years before you met.
A Treat For Your Cat : Nothing Is Better For Your Mutual Friendship !
August 24, 2007
A Treat For Your Cat : Nothing Is Better For Your Mutual Friendship !
by: Marc Deschamps
As part of a balanced diet, a treat for your cat is complementary to regular meals. Serve a treat that is both nutritious and will enhance his good health. It is also a good way to help you build a solid relationship with your cat or kitten. As you are playing with your cat, you may introduce a trat for your cat, as a reward, if he finds you while playing hide-and-seek for example. And with patience, you may even teach him a few tricks and develop certain abilities you did not even dream of.
The most common treat for your cat includes a variety of bite size shape foods. Dry or moist, chicken, seafoods, fish, cheeze, meat filledor flavored are readily available on the market. Several companies will even deliver to your door.
Age and health condition are useful references in choosing a cat treat for your animal friend. Prefer a treat for your feline friend that will not have preservatives, artificial colouring and artificial flavour. A treat will help stimulate the appetite of an older cat or develop new tastes for your younger cat or kitten.
Yes, There Really is Useful Wedding Planning Software
August 23, 2007
Yes, There Really is Useful Wedding Planning Software
by: Richard Keir
Wedding planning isn’t an easy task. A wedding is an incredibly complicated undertaking - unless you plan to elope or just go downtown to the justice of the peace. For a relatively large, traditional wedding there are many activities and events that you’ll need to track to keep the wedding on schedule.
Now there are people who actually choose to become experts in wedding planning. That’s what they do - day after day. While hiring someone to help you with your wedding can be the perfect solution, it’s not always feasible. A professional wedding planner may charge as much as 10% of the cost of the wedding. For many couples this extra charge is quite sufficient for them to take over their wedding planning themselves. Now there is plenty of software available that can help make this decision a smart one.
In looking at wedding planning software, one feature you definitely want is a calendar. Remember that this is not just a function for keeping track of dates. Your planning software should allow you to set notifications for important events. Wedding planning software usually uses E-mail reminders. And if your mobile telephone has a text-messaging feature, the ability to receive e-mail reminders on your cell phone is a great benefit.
