Marriage Counseling Advice: Give Your Spouse Space to Breathe and Grow
April 30, 2008
When you’re married, the boundaries between yourself and your spouse aren’t always clear. For some people, marriage brings the expectation of spending as much time as possible with a spouse and doing most things together. In this model of marriage, the two people generally function as a single unit in thought and actions.
In other cases, individuals may not have learned healthy boundaries as children, and they may have been exposed to negative control on the part of adults in their life. In her book Facing Codependence, Pia Melody lists negative control as one of the secondary symptoms of codependence that affects your relationships with others. She defines negative control as giving yourself permission to determine someone else’s reality for your own comfort.
According to Melody, negative control "happens whenever I give myself permission to determine for another person what he or she should look like (including dress and body size), or think, feel, and do or not dol" There is also a flip side to negative control, which is "allowing someone else to control me." Melody continues by stating, "Whenever I fail to determine for myself what I look like, what I think, what I feel, and what I do or don’t do, and allow someone else to control any of those things for me, I am participating in negative control."
Adolescent Anger Management Strategies
April 29, 2008
Adolescent Anger Management Strategies
by: Steve Hill
Adolescent anger management is becoming more prominent in our society. Traditionally, children who enter this last acute phase of bodily and mental development can go through some rough times. As kids enter their preteen and then their teenage years, chaos can ensue at times for everyone involved. A child or young adult may feel that his or her body and mind are out of control occasionally, and the parents and teachers who supervise children at this age may tend to agree. Anger can spring out of nowhere to challenge innocent requests and reasonable expectations. Yet kids between the age of twelve and sixteen sometimes react in unpredictable ways, surprising those around them and even themselves and requiring the intervention of adolescent anger management strategies.
Today’s teens face even greater pressures than those of the past. By age eighteen, most have witnessed thousands of murders on television and video games. Some are involved in violent or illegal gang activity. Others come from broken homes where domestic violence and substance abuse are the norm. By the time they start going through puberty, their entire existence may seem out of their control, and they may grow increasingly enraged, acting out their anger in antisocial ways that require adolescent anger management.
Buying A Home After Bankruptcy - Beware Of Shady Subprime Mortgage Lenders
April 29, 2008
Buying A Home After Bankruptcy - Beware Of Shady Subprime Mortgage Lenders
by: Carrie Reeder
If you have a recent bankruptcy and are looking to buy a home, be careful of unethical or predatory lenders. Whether you are looking online or offline for a mortgage lender, it is becoming increasingly more common that subprime lenders are taking advantage of bad credit borrowers.
Many lenders will take advantage of borrowers with recent bankruptcies and bad credit because they know that the borrowers loan options are limited. Sometimes these lenders will charge excessively high fees, extensive pre-payment penalties on the home or ask for a fee upfront to “process” the loan.
Here are some tips on applying for a mortgage loan after a bankruptcy:
Beware of the Lender Asking For a Fee Upfront - Anytime you are applying for a mortgage loan, the only fee you should ever have to pay is the application fee which covers the cost of the lender pulling your credit application. Some lending scams involve asking for a processing fee of hundreds to thousands to process the loan.
The Wedding Guests Guide to A Stress Free and Fun Wedding
April 28, 2008
Most brides become obsessed with throwing the perfect wedding. The bride-zilla persona takes over and can cause incredible pressure and strain on all involved. What most brides fail to realize is that the majority of details they fuss over, go unnoticed by guests and are forgotten by the bride and groom during the excitement of the big day.
Over the past five months I have attended six weddings, and in the past three years nearly twenty. My husband and I are in our early 30’s, and wedding bells have been ringing simultaneously for all of our friends. My own wedding was well orgainzed but also incredibly fun and stress-free. I went swimming in the ocean the day of the wedding, and except for a few details only we noticed, the event went off without a hitch. Five years later, we still have guests commenting on how much fun they had, and how relaxed everything was.
Almost all of the weddings we’ve attended reflected the personality of the couple getting married, with simple details that made an impact. However, a few were extremely inconvenient for guests and a nightmare for the bride and groom. To avoid the last scenario, here are a few tips to streamline the planning process, reduce cost, stress, and hopefully provide some ideas for memorable wedding.
Looks or Heart?
April 27, 2008
No matter how you want to spin it, beautiful people are just that, beautiful. However, to what degree does it play into you finding your perfect match?
Seemingly, most of us are engulfed by a blitzing media that sells everything from lingerie to exotic cars with some gorgeous blonde or brunette sitting next to it. An idea that if it’s candy to the eyes, it will sell to the general public more readily.
While this concept is hardly new and not far from the truth, how important of a factor does it play in landing someone that you could see yourself spending the rest of your days with?
You would be surprised how shallow many adults are!
The idea of bypassing personality for the most part and simply sizing up a prospects physical attributes for a potential long term mate, can be nothing short of disastrous.
So what is the hurt in holding out until you find a perfect match? You know, someone who has it all, personality, character, integrity, dignity, compassion, accountability, compatability, aspirations, and empathy.
Did you notice I conveniently left out a flawless face, ideal smile, and a drop dead body?
How To Get Homework Done
April 26, 2008
How To Get Homework Done
by: John Edmond
Why do teachers give out homework when all it does for many children and their families is cause stress? Does your child’s homework cause you both stress every time it must be done? Is your child fighting you when you try to get him do his homework?
You are not alone. “Why do teachers give out homework?” is a question children frequently ask as a way of justifying their refusal. Becoming good at getting your child to do his or her homework means you must have a well thought out answer, one that is more “because you have to”.
Teachers give out homework because there is not enough time in a school day to get everything done and without homework children would lose any chance of a decent job, prosperity etc. This question and other similar questions, (such as “should homework be abolished) or your child asking you for all the answers to homework questions are one way many children avoid their homework - there are many others.
Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce
April 25, 2008
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustration. When making serious divorce decisions, having an open mind and listing the things that will figure into your decision about divorce, will help make the process a little simpler for you.
The things to consider when deciding about divorce varies somewhat from person to person, but here is a list of the most common items to contemplate:
Divorce Decision Item 1: Making sure that you are emotionally ready to go through with a decision.
Not being really ready to decide about whether to get a divorce because of emotional uncertainty will be a serious obstacle if you let your emotions cloud your ability to reason or use logic. People often fear making a tough decision and there are many reasons why people don’t ever get around to actually making a divorce decision, which is often one of the toughest decisions to make in life. If you aren’t ready to handle the emotional pain of what could be a “life changing” event like deciding about divorce, wait until you can before going through your divorce decision making process.
Create A Beautifull Wedding Album With A Simple And Fun Way
April 24, 2008
Hi If you are getting married or have a Bar Bat Mitzvah or special event then you should read this article. Many times people who have an important event hire a photographer, videographer wedding consultants, and or coordinators, florists, lino service, ect. This can be a difficult task or a fun one. I can provide some good sence in the photography field and this will also apply to video.
The one and most important part of your event when being in front of the camera is to remember to always keep smiling and let everybody know to smile and cooperate with your vendors. The more smilly faces the nicer the pictures and the more fun you will have.
When you are infront of the camera have fun make the pictures interesting you are the leading lady and when you are having fun so will everyone else.
Your pictures will look best by keeping the colors you choose to enhance your wedding gown remember to think contrast and depth. You are the most important part of any picture. When choosing colors try not to include to much white because your gown is going to absorb most whites. Black and White pictures will look better with reds, greens, and yellows when next to a white wedding gown. Have the colors you choose enhance your wedding gown.
Baby Cribs - Finding The Right One
April 24, 2008
Baby Cribs - Finding The Right One
by: Martin Smith
Before you go looking at baby cribs you should determine your budget. A good idea is to have a price range to work with. This will allow for more choices in the long run.
The main concern you should have whether you are buying a new crib or a used one. The crib must meet government standards. When you put the crib together be sure to so following the manufacturer’s directions exactly to ensure the greatest amount of safety for your child. It should also be used properly.
Safety concerns include the mattress. The mattress must be firm and tight fitting and there should be no missing or broken hardware. There should be no missing or loose slats. The slats should not be any more than 2 3/8 inches apart - about the width of a soda can. There should be no cutouts in the foot or headboards. If there are corner posts they should be no more than a sixteenth of an inch above the foot or head bar.
Are Toys For Men Or For Boys?
April 23, 2008
Are Toys For Men Or For Boys?
by: Michael Hanna
With so many new “toys” around nowadays it’s hard to figure the aim of the toy market.
My 9 year old son Jack got a visit from Santa recently. Santa was very good to Jack - he got him an IPod and a PSP - the exact same as I got. I grew up playing games and totally love the PSP - it’s like the toy I dreamed of when I was younger, and now that I have my IPod I don’t know how I suffered the bus to work without it.
But how old do you get before you forget about kids toys and move on to big boys toys? It only seems like yesterday that I was shopping at kids stores for Jack. The last present I remember going into town to get him was one of those kids easel things for doing his paintings (one of these things: http://www.elc.co.uk/category-530 ). And now, only a couple of years later he’s playing with the same things as me.
